1 00:00:01,968 --> 00:00:03,837 - ? MTV ? 2 00:00:07,374 --> 00:00:10,310 [chuckling] 3 00:00:10,377 --> 00:00:13,280 [bluesy rock music] 4 00:00:13,346 --> 00:00:17,017 ? ? 5 00:00:24,190 --> 00:00:27,194 - [crunching] 6 00:00:27,227 --> 00:00:30,230 Hey, Butt-Head, check it out. [crunching] 7 00:00:30,297 --> 00:00:32,566 I got a caramel apple. 8 00:00:32,567 --> 00:00:33,700 Caramel apple. 9 00:00:33,701 --> 00:00:36,403 - Uh, you're eating fruit? 10 00:00:36,470 --> 00:00:38,305 [chuckles] - No, it's good. 11 00:00:38,306 --> 00:00:40,373 The caramel, like, kills the apple taste. 12 00:00:40,374 --> 00:00:44,545 Plus, I mean, it's, like, got a stick up its butt. 13 00:00:44,645 --> 00:00:48,149 [both laugh] 14 00:00:48,215 --> 00:00:50,884 - That's cool. [chuckling] 15 00:00:50,984 --> 00:00:53,154 I want a bite. 16 00:00:53,220 --> 00:00:54,822 - Um, I don't know, Butt-Head. 17 00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:56,257 What about your braces? 18 00:00:56,258 --> 00:00:57,524 I don't think you're supposed to have, like, 19 00:00:57,525 --> 00:00:59,359 sticky foods or something. 20 00:00:59,426 --> 00:01:02,129 - Don't tell me what to chew, butthole. 21 00:01:02,196 --> 00:01:03,931 [crunches] 22 00:01:03,998 --> 00:01:06,834 [muffled talking] - [chuckles] 23 00:01:06,835 --> 00:01:09,201 That's funny, Butt-Head. Your braces are stuck. 24 00:01:09,202 --> 00:01:11,272 - [muffled] God damn it, Beavis. 25 00:01:11,372 --> 00:01:13,206 [muffled yelling] 26 00:01:13,207 --> 00:01:15,140 - Sorry, Butt-Head, I can't hear you because you've got, 27 00:01:15,141 --> 00:01:17,577 like, an apple stuck in your mouth or something. 28 00:01:17,578 --> 00:01:19,679 - [muffled] That's what I said, dumbass. 29 00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:21,348 Get this damn apple off! 30 00:01:21,349 --> 00:01:23,216 - No, I don't think that's going to work, Butt-Head. 31 00:01:23,217 --> 00:01:25,251 I'm just going to try to get the apple off. 32 00:01:25,252 --> 00:01:27,087 - [muffled yelling] 33 00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:30,190 [muffled screaming] - [grunting] 34 00:01:38,665 --> 00:01:41,335 - [muffled] Beavis, I'm gonna kill you. 35 00:01:41,401 --> 00:01:43,871 - You're welcome. [chuckles] 36 00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:45,672 It's pretty stuck, Butt-Head. 37 00:01:45,739 --> 00:01:48,976 But don't worry. I've got an idea. 38 00:01:49,043 --> 00:01:51,445 OK, Butt-Head, now, um-like, um- 39 00:01:51,511 --> 00:01:54,314 like, stand very, very still. 40 00:01:54,315 --> 00:01:56,182 - [muffled] You better do this right, Beavis. 41 00:01:56,183 --> 00:01:57,585 This is your fault. 42 00:01:57,651 --> 00:01:59,553 - Remember, hold still. 43 00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:03,223 And... 44 00:02:03,290 --> 00:02:05,092 [grunts] - [yells] 45 00:02:05,093 --> 00:02:06,192 - Whoops. 46 00:02:06,193 --> 00:02:09,129 - [muffled yelling] 47 00:02:09,196 --> 00:02:12,533 - It's not my fault. You moved! I told you. 48 00:02:12,633 --> 00:02:14,367 Let me try again. 49 00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:15,836 - [muffled] OK. 50 00:02:15,936 --> 00:02:19,273 But don't screw it up this time, butthole. 51 00:02:19,274 --> 00:02:22,174 - I think maybe this time, I'm going to close my eyes, 52 00:02:22,175 --> 00:02:25,446 you know, kind of like a pi�ata. 53 00:02:25,513 --> 00:02:27,180 [chuckles] 54 00:02:27,214 --> 00:02:28,415 Ah! 55 00:02:30,116 --> 00:02:31,252 - Whoa. 56 00:02:31,318 --> 00:02:33,053 - What happened? 57 00:02:36,957 --> 00:02:41,428 Um, what are those things that look just like your braces? 58 00:02:43,129 --> 00:02:44,398 - Wait a second. 59 00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:46,133 [chuckles] 60 00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:49,070 [uplifting music] 61 00:02:49,136 --> 00:02:56,209 ? ? 62 00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:01,081 I'm beautiful. 63 00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:05,052 [laughs] 64 00:03:05,118 --> 00:03:07,354 [rock music] 65 00:03:07,421 --> 00:03:08,471 - Fight tips! 66 00:03:08,521 --> 00:03:09,924 - Fight tips! 67 00:03:09,925 --> 00:03:10,957 - What's going on, guys? 68 00:03:10,958 --> 00:03:12,159 Shane here. - I'm Ant. 69 00:03:12,160 --> 00:03:13,426 - Oh yeah, I've seen these guys before. 70 00:03:13,427 --> 00:03:15,462 Yeah, yeah. It's Shane and Ant. 71 00:03:15,463 --> 00:03:17,263 - But I first want to remind you guys 72 00:03:17,264 --> 00:03:19,031 that violence is not cool. Fighting should only be- 73 00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:21,568 - Wait a minute. Violence is not cool? 74 00:03:21,635 --> 00:03:23,938 Who told him that? [snickers] 75 00:03:23,939 --> 00:03:25,438 No, they got that wrong, Butt-Head. 76 00:03:25,439 --> 00:03:29,910 Violence is cool, especially when it's unprovoked. 77 00:03:30,010 --> 00:03:32,613 - I think there's a law where, like, you have to say 78 00:03:32,679 --> 00:03:35,716 violence isn't cool, and then once you do, 79 00:03:35,783 --> 00:03:38,285 it's like, totally OK to do violence. 80 00:03:38,385 --> 00:03:41,888 [chuckles] - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 81 00:03:41,955 --> 00:03:43,924 Yeah, that figures. [chuckles] 82 00:03:44,024 --> 00:03:47,261 Thanks again, fat cats. 83 00:03:47,361 --> 00:03:49,529 - This is, like, a good video to learn 84 00:03:49,530 --> 00:03:51,564 how to fight a person who's just standing 85 00:03:51,565 --> 00:03:54,135 completely still, making a stupid face, 86 00:03:54,235 --> 00:03:56,103 and not fighting back at all. 87 00:03:56,170 --> 00:03:58,439 [both chuckle] 88 00:03:58,539 --> 00:04:00,274 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 89 00:04:00,341 --> 00:04:02,810 I mean, I do see people like that sometimes. 90 00:04:02,910 --> 00:04:06,113 You know, I guess I could kick their ass. 91 00:04:06,114 --> 00:04:07,680 - Is going to be when you're a little closer, 92 00:04:07,681 --> 00:04:09,149 when you're clenched up. 93 00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:12,686 - I think Ant's mom is, like, going out with Shane's dad. 94 00:04:12,752 --> 00:04:15,789 And she was like, "You know, Ant, 95 00:04:15,856 --> 00:04:17,858 "Jim's son also makes YouTube videos. 96 00:04:17,859 --> 00:04:19,258 "Maybe you guys could go to the park 97 00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:20,694 and make one together." 98 00:04:20,794 --> 00:04:22,229 [chuckles] - Yeah, yeah. 99 00:04:22,296 --> 00:04:24,431 And then Ant was like, "Ugh, do I really 100 00:04:24,497 --> 00:04:25,817 have to hang out with him?" 101 00:04:25,833 --> 00:04:27,902 And then she's like, "Now, look, Ant, 102 00:04:27,968 --> 00:04:29,603 "I love his father very much. 103 00:04:29,636 --> 00:04:33,106 "I know you don't like him, but just give it a chance. 104 00:04:33,139 --> 00:04:34,642 "Come on, I need this to work. 105 00:04:34,675 --> 00:04:35,909 This is my last chance." 106 00:04:35,976 --> 00:04:37,077 [chuckles] 107 00:04:37,144 --> 00:04:39,012 - "Ant, I know I told you 108 00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:42,082 "it wasn't your fault I divorced, but it was. 109 00:04:42,149 --> 00:04:45,152 So don't screw this one up." [chuckles] 110 00:04:45,219 --> 00:04:47,020 - "You owe me, Ant! 111 00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:49,323 You were an accident anyway." 112 00:04:49,423 --> 00:04:53,027 - "Mom, do I have to call Shane's father Dad?" 113 00:04:53,028 --> 00:04:54,793 - "You call him whatever he wants! 114 00:04:54,794 --> 00:04:57,497 "You call him your lord and master if he asks for it. 115 00:04:57,498 --> 00:04:59,365 "Because I'll tell you what I call him. 116 00:04:59,366 --> 00:05:02,636 I call him all I've got left." [both chuckle] 117 00:05:02,637 --> 00:05:05,038 "Yeah, my mom always told me, it's just as easy 118 00:05:05,039 --> 00:05:07,741 "to fall in love with a rich man as a poor man, 119 00:05:07,841 --> 00:05:09,844 "except when you have a son like Ant 120 00:05:09,845 --> 00:05:11,044 "screwing it up for you. 121 00:05:11,045 --> 00:05:12,980 "Now, come on! 122 00:05:13,047 --> 00:05:14,557 "Now, just go down to the park 123 00:05:14,558 --> 00:05:16,649 "and let that twerp punch you in the throat. 124 00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:17,851 "Just do it! 125 00:05:17,918 --> 00:05:20,087 I can take care of the rest." [chuckles] 126 00:05:20,154 --> 00:05:23,924 - Uh, settle down, Beavis. 127 00:05:23,991 --> 00:05:26,393 [chuckles] - Oh, yeah. 128 00:05:26,394 --> 00:05:28,394 Got a little carried away. - Until next time. I'm Shane. 129 00:05:28,395 --> 00:05:29,485 - I'm Ant. - Fight tips. 130 00:05:29,530 --> 00:05:30,964 - Fight tips! 131 00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:34,735 [upbeat music] 132 00:05:34,835 --> 00:05:41,808 ? ? 133 00:05:46,714 --> 00:05:49,916 - Smooth. [chuckles] 134 00:05:49,917 --> 00:05:52,819 - You really do look different without your braces, Butt-Head. 135 00:05:52,820 --> 00:05:55,922 - That's because I'm hot now, Beavis. 136 00:05:56,022 --> 00:05:57,691 - Oh, yeah, yeah. [chuckles] 137 00:05:57,758 --> 00:06:02,329 - I mean, I was hot before, but now I'm, like, even hotter. 138 00:06:02,429 --> 00:06:05,165 [chuckles] 139 00:06:05,232 --> 00:06:08,135 - Whoa. So, um, so what's it like? 140 00:06:08,202 --> 00:06:12,373 - You know how it's, like, cool when you see a chick's butt? 141 00:06:12,439 --> 00:06:15,309 - Um, yeah, yeah. [chuckles] 142 00:06:15,376 --> 00:06:18,044 - Well, I'm like that now, Beavis. 143 00:06:18,111 --> 00:06:22,015 I'm like a chick's butt, but to chicks. 144 00:06:22,082 --> 00:06:23,283 - Oh, yeah, yeah. 145 00:06:23,350 --> 00:06:26,053 Whoa. That's cool. Yeah. 146 00:06:26,120 --> 00:06:27,888 Are you going to sit down? 147 00:06:27,955 --> 00:06:29,289 - No, I am not. 148 00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:31,959 I'm way too hot to sit with you. 149 00:06:31,992 --> 00:06:35,862 I'm going to go sit at the popular table. 150 00:06:35,929 --> 00:06:38,298 - OK. Yeah, that's cool. 151 00:06:38,365 --> 00:06:39,734 - Don't worry, Beavis. 152 00:06:39,735 --> 00:06:41,634 I'm not going to forget the little people. 153 00:06:41,635 --> 00:06:44,605 The little people who are also ugly. 154 00:06:44,705 --> 00:06:46,140 - Oh, good, good. 155 00:06:46,206 --> 00:06:48,709 That's a relief. Yeah. [chuckles] 156 00:06:48,776 --> 00:06:50,878 [laughter, chatter] 157 00:06:50,945 --> 00:06:52,413 - Oh-ugh. 158 00:06:52,479 --> 00:06:55,148 - Uh, hey. [chuckles] 159 00:06:55,248 --> 00:06:58,052 Like, what's up or something. 160 00:06:58,119 --> 00:07:00,154 I'm, like, one of you now. 161 00:07:00,221 --> 00:07:01,821 [chuckles] 162 00:07:09,396 --> 00:07:11,464 [chuckles] 163 00:07:16,203 --> 00:07:17,972 You can't sit here, dumbass. 164 00:07:18,038 --> 00:07:20,374 This is the cool table. 165 00:07:20,474 --> 00:07:21,675 - Yeah, but they all left. 166 00:07:21,676 --> 00:07:23,509 - That's because they're not cool enough. 167 00:07:23,510 --> 00:07:25,612 There'll be cooler people coming. 168 00:07:25,613 --> 00:07:28,181 - OK, but can I just sit at this table until they get here? 169 00:07:28,182 --> 00:07:29,483 - No. 170 00:07:29,549 --> 00:07:31,919 You have to go over there and sit with Cody. 171 00:07:32,019 --> 00:07:34,555 [chuckles] 172 00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:37,257 - But Cody sucks. [chuckles] 173 00:07:37,357 --> 00:07:39,192 - That's why you have to sit with him. 174 00:07:39,259 --> 00:07:42,396 Everyone has to sit with people at their own level. 175 00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:45,866 [chuckles] - [sighs] Eh, OK. 176 00:07:45,932 --> 00:07:47,562 - I don't make the rules, Beavis. 177 00:07:47,601 --> 00:07:49,636 [chuckles] 178 00:07:56,510 --> 00:07:58,445 - This sucks. [chuckles] 179 00:08:00,427 --> 00:08:03,916 - For a long time, people have been telling me 180 00:08:03,917 --> 00:08:05,318 to get a slo-mo camera, because it'll look great 181 00:08:05,319 --> 00:08:07,720 when I'm doing stunts. And you know what? I agree. 182 00:08:07,721 --> 00:08:09,722 - Uh, this guy thinks it's, like, really funny 183 00:08:09,723 --> 00:08:12,326 if he shouts the first part of every sentence. 184 00:08:12,393 --> 00:08:15,696 - We got five projectile items. Starting on the weak end... 185 00:08:15,763 --> 00:08:18,173 - This guy is really weird-looking, Butt-Head. 186 00:08:18,232 --> 00:08:20,501 Did you notice that? [chuckles] 187 00:08:20,568 --> 00:08:22,558 - It's like somebody took a dork's head 188 00:08:22,602 --> 00:08:25,572 and sewed it on the body of a really ripped guy. 189 00:08:25,573 --> 00:08:27,173 - Yeah, like, that other guy, you know, 190 00:08:27,174 --> 00:08:28,774 he's got a dork head and a dork body, 191 00:08:28,775 --> 00:08:32,179 and he just looks like a- you know, like a dork. 192 00:08:32,246 --> 00:08:33,847 - Yeah, but not this guy. 193 00:08:33,914 --> 00:08:37,050 He looks like whoever made him screwed up. 194 00:08:37,084 --> 00:08:39,553 [clicking] 195 00:08:39,554 --> 00:08:41,154 - Ow, that was more than three trigger pulls! 196 00:08:41,155 --> 00:08:43,522 - I wonder if, like, his body makes fun of his head. 197 00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:44,792 [chuckles] 198 00:08:44,892 --> 00:08:47,294 Yeah, the body is like, I'm going to go score, 199 00:08:47,394 --> 00:08:49,964 and you're not allowed to look. 200 00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:52,399 - Go score with your own schlong 201 00:08:52,432 --> 00:08:55,068 or your nose. [chuckles] 202 00:08:55,135 --> 00:08:58,172 - [groans] 203 00:08:58,173 --> 00:09:00,072 - He's like, well, I got shot in the butt, 204 00:09:00,073 --> 00:09:02,142 but, you know, I'll get eight likes, 205 00:09:02,242 --> 00:09:04,478 so it'll be worth it. 206 00:09:04,479 --> 00:09:06,579 - Those ripples remind me of when you're standing 207 00:09:06,580 --> 00:09:09,149 next to a lake and you pick up a rock 208 00:09:09,249 --> 00:09:10,684 and then you throw it, 209 00:09:10,784 --> 00:09:13,354 and then it hits somebody's bare butt cheek 210 00:09:13,420 --> 00:09:14,821 and it looks just like that. 211 00:09:14,921 --> 00:09:16,557 [chuckles] - Oh, yeah, yeah. 212 00:09:16,623 --> 00:09:19,493 - It's very peaceful. 213 00:09:19,494 --> 00:09:21,494 - You know, if he shot that pellet, like, 214 00:09:21,495 --> 00:09:23,425 down the center of his butt, you know, 215 00:09:23,463 --> 00:09:26,133 it would not bounce back. 216 00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:29,704 [both chuckling] 217 00:09:29,770 --> 00:09:32,039 And you know what else? 218 00:09:32,106 --> 00:09:34,709 And if you played it backwards, 219 00:09:34,710 --> 00:09:36,309 it would look like he was having, like, 220 00:09:36,310 --> 00:09:39,346 a tiny little blue pellet poop. 221 00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:42,282 And then it would fly out of his bunghole 222 00:09:42,349 --> 00:09:43,984 and into that guy's gun. 223 00:09:44,050 --> 00:09:47,854 [both chuckling] 224 00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:50,423 - I don't know how your mind works, Beavis. 225 00:09:50,490 --> 00:09:52,893 - [screams] 226 00:09:55,028 --> 00:09:56,964 - [chuckles] 227 00:09:57,030 --> 00:10:00,100 Hey, baby. [chuckles] 228 00:10:00,167 --> 00:10:02,068 How's it going? 229 00:10:04,638 --> 00:10:05,906 - OK. - Oh, yeah, for sure. 230 00:10:05,973 --> 00:10:07,674 - What's up, bros? 231 00:10:07,775 --> 00:10:09,609 Scoring with chicks? 232 00:10:09,643 --> 00:10:12,479 We know what that's like. [chuckles] 233 00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:20,487 - Hey, Butt-Head, school's over. 234 00:10:20,521 --> 00:10:22,289 You want to go- - No, Beavis. 235 00:10:22,355 --> 00:10:23,490 I'm very busy. 236 00:10:23,523 --> 00:10:25,192 I'm looking at something. 237 00:10:25,292 --> 00:10:27,761 [chuckles] 238 00:10:27,828 --> 00:10:30,531 It's a shame I can't score with myself. 239 00:10:30,631 --> 00:10:33,199 - Damn it, Butt-Head, I'm tired of this crap! 240 00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:35,134 I knocked your braces off with a bat, 241 00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:38,339 and now I'm going to use a bat to knock them back on. 242 00:10:38,405 --> 00:10:42,276 - Uh, how are you going to put my braces on with a bat- 243 00:10:42,342 --> 00:10:44,044 - [grunts] - [groans] 244 00:10:44,111 --> 00:10:46,847 [both grunting] 245 00:10:46,947 --> 00:10:50,217 - Are your braces back on? [chuckles] 246 00:10:50,284 --> 00:10:52,319 - No. 247 00:10:52,386 --> 00:10:54,321 - Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you're right. 248 00:10:54,422 --> 00:10:55,756 Huh. 249 00:10:55,823 --> 00:10:58,892 I don't know why I thought that would work. 250 00:10:58,893 --> 00:11:03,095 Well, they managed to get most of your teeth back in. 251 00:11:03,096 --> 00:11:05,365 That's pretty cool. [chuckles] 252 00:11:05,398 --> 00:11:07,901 - Yeah, and now I have to wear these braces 253 00:11:08,002 --> 00:11:11,171 until I'm, like, 25. 254 00:11:11,205 --> 00:11:14,007 - Yep. And you still never scored. 255 00:11:14,041 --> 00:11:15,342 [chuckles] 256 00:11:15,409 --> 00:11:19,279 - That nurse said I'm still beautiful on the inside. 257 00:11:19,346 --> 00:11:22,616 - That means you're ugly, I think. 258 00:11:22,683 --> 00:11:24,718 - I know, Beavis. 259 00:11:24,818 --> 00:11:26,187 Shut up. 260 00:11:26,253 --> 00:11:29,156 [rock music] 261 00:11:29,222 --> 00:11:35,662 ? ? 262 00:11:39,099 --> 00:11:42,002 [both chuckling] 263 00:11:42,102 --> 00:11:45,038 [bluesy rock music] 264 00:11:45,138 --> 00:11:48,341 ? ? 265 00:11:58,352 --> 00:12:02,189 - Um, Butt-Head, can I put the bags in your basket there? 266 00:12:02,256 --> 00:12:03,724 - No. [chuckles] 267 00:12:03,757 --> 00:12:07,394 The basket is for my personal items. 268 00:12:07,427 --> 00:12:10,630 - Oh, yeah, I forgot. [chuckles] 269 00:12:11,866 --> 00:12:13,733 - [grunts] Oopsy-daisy. 270 00:12:13,767 --> 00:12:15,702 [chuckles] 271 00:12:15,769 --> 00:12:17,404 Oh, boy. 272 00:12:17,437 --> 00:12:19,273 Here we go. 273 00:12:19,340 --> 00:12:22,342 [groaning] 274 00:12:26,347 --> 00:12:27,857 - Hurry up, Butt-Head. Come on. 275 00:12:27,915 --> 00:12:29,849 - Hang on. 276 00:12:29,916 --> 00:12:32,485 Gotta take my little rest. [chuckles] 277 00:12:32,552 --> 00:12:35,089 [inhales, exhales] 278 00:12:35,189 --> 00:12:37,391 A lot of stairs today. 279 00:12:37,392 --> 00:12:39,359 - Damn it, Butt-Head, I always have to wait for you 280 00:12:39,360 --> 00:12:42,195 on the stairs because you're fat. 281 00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:43,997 - Shut up, Beavis. 282 00:12:44,064 --> 00:12:46,967 Riding on that scooter took a lot out of me. 283 00:12:47,034 --> 00:12:49,870 - Damn it, Butt-Head. Get moving, you fat slob. 284 00:12:49,904 --> 00:12:52,473 Come on! [chuckles] 285 00:12:52,539 --> 00:12:55,108 - OK, OK. 286 00:12:55,208 --> 00:12:58,078 [panting] 287 00:13:04,919 --> 00:13:06,987 - See? See, that wasn't so bad. 288 00:13:07,054 --> 00:13:10,090 - [groaning] 289 00:13:14,695 --> 00:13:15,863 - Whoa. [chuckles] 290 00:13:15,963 --> 00:13:18,899 - [groans] 291 00:13:18,966 --> 00:13:21,101 - What's wrong? 292 00:13:21,168 --> 00:13:24,305 - Pain in my chest. 293 00:13:24,371 --> 00:13:26,840 I can't breathe. 294 00:13:26,907 --> 00:13:28,809 - That's cool. [chuckles] 295 00:13:28,876 --> 00:13:31,712 - My left arm is numb. 296 00:13:31,779 --> 00:13:33,581 - Oh, you know what you should do? 297 00:13:33,647 --> 00:13:35,087 You should spank your monkey. 298 00:13:35,088 --> 00:13:36,983 It'll feel like someone else is doing it. 299 00:13:36,984 --> 00:13:38,034 [chuckles] 300 00:13:38,118 --> 00:13:40,087 - Oh, yeah. 301 00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:42,589 Good idea. [chuckles weakly] 302 00:13:42,656 --> 00:13:45,892 [groaning] 303 00:13:45,959 --> 00:13:47,494 I can't. 304 00:13:47,594 --> 00:13:48,762 - That sucks. 305 00:13:48,829 --> 00:13:50,965 That would have been cool. [chuckles] 306 00:13:51,031 --> 00:13:54,635 - Beavis, you dumbass, I'm having a heart attack. 307 00:13:54,735 --> 00:13:56,870 - A heart attack? 308 00:13:56,937 --> 00:13:59,339 OK. [chuckles] 309 00:13:59,406 --> 00:14:01,696 - Damn it, Beavis, get some help or something 310 00:14:01,709 --> 00:14:03,043 or I'm going to die. 311 00:14:03,143 --> 00:14:04,878 - Oh, yeah. OK. Yeah. 312 00:14:04,978 --> 00:14:06,479 Here I go. Yeah. 313 00:14:06,480 --> 00:14:08,748 And don't worry, Butt-Head. Everything's going to be fine. 314 00:14:08,749 --> 00:14:11,652 [dramatic music] 315 00:14:11,718 --> 00:14:13,053 ? ? 316 00:14:13,086 --> 00:14:14,422 - [screams] 317 00:14:14,423 --> 00:14:16,689 - Oh, yeah, yeah, sorry about that, Butt-Head. 318 00:14:16,690 --> 00:14:19,026 I had it in backwards. 319 00:14:19,060 --> 00:14:20,594 OK, now, here I go. 320 00:14:20,661 --> 00:14:23,063 - [groans] - Oh. [chuckles] 321 00:14:23,129 --> 00:14:25,232 Backwards again. 322 00:14:25,332 --> 00:14:27,234 Classic Beavis. 323 00:14:27,301 --> 00:14:30,036 - [groans] 324 00:14:33,340 --> 00:14:35,108 I'm gonna die. 325 00:14:35,175 --> 00:14:38,345 [coughs] 326 00:14:38,379 --> 00:14:40,948 - Wrong way. - [groans] 327 00:14:40,949 --> 00:14:42,715 - I think it's this way. [chuckles] 328 00:14:42,716 --> 00:14:46,821 [metal music] 329 00:14:46,887 --> 00:14:48,055 - Yeah. 330 00:14:48,155 --> 00:14:50,224 Yeah, here we go. Yeah. 331 00:14:50,257 --> 00:14:51,759 - Yeah. [chuckles] 332 00:14:51,825 --> 00:14:53,126 - Yeah! 333 00:14:53,193 --> 00:14:56,730 [both grunting] 334 00:14:56,831 --> 00:14:58,032 Ow. 335 00:14:58,065 --> 00:15:01,034 [groaning] Ow. 336 00:15:01,101 --> 00:15:02,970 Why did we used to do that? 337 00:15:03,037 --> 00:15:04,738 - Uh, I don't know. 338 00:15:04,805 --> 00:15:08,109 - ? I don't give a goddamn ? 339 00:15:08,175 --> 00:15:11,946 - I don't give a goddamn! 340 00:15:12,046 --> 00:15:15,048 - ? About your demands ? 341 00:15:15,115 --> 00:15:16,316 - I didn't catch that. 342 00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:19,319 He doesn't give a goddamn about what? 343 00:15:19,420 --> 00:15:23,224 - About, uh, dumbass or something. 344 00:15:23,290 --> 00:15:27,661 - No, I think it was, um- I think he said, uh- 345 00:15:27,761 --> 00:15:30,664 eh, it doesn't matter. 346 00:15:30,665 --> 00:15:32,932 - These are, like, the best lyrics I've ever 347 00:15:32,933 --> 00:15:35,636 not been able to understand. 348 00:15:35,736 --> 00:15:38,205 - ? You're face down, down in the ditch ? 349 00:15:38,206 --> 00:15:40,339 - We should, like, go to one of these concerts 350 00:15:40,340 --> 00:15:43,543 and, like, crawl around and eat dirt. 351 00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:45,245 [chuckles] - Yeah. 352 00:15:45,246 --> 00:15:48,247 You know, it's probably really, really loud too, you know. 353 00:15:48,248 --> 00:15:50,818 And I'm already hard of hearing, so, you know, 354 00:15:50,884 --> 00:15:53,220 might as well just finish the job, you know. 355 00:15:53,287 --> 00:15:54,688 [chuckles] 356 00:15:54,755 --> 00:15:55,890 - That's right. 357 00:15:55,956 --> 00:15:57,591 Get 'er done. 358 00:15:57,657 --> 00:15:59,626 - Huh? Quarter to what? 359 00:15:59,693 --> 00:16:01,895 [chuckles] 360 00:16:01,995 --> 00:16:06,233 - This video, like, takes me back to a simpler time. 361 00:16:06,300 --> 00:16:08,836 - Back when you just, like, sit on the couch 362 00:16:08,936 --> 00:16:10,871 and watch stuff like this. 363 00:16:10,971 --> 00:16:13,907 - Not a care in the world. [chuckles] 364 00:16:13,974 --> 00:16:16,577 - Yeah. Yeah, those were the days. 365 00:16:16,578 --> 00:16:18,778 Now I have to go to the unemployment office, 366 00:16:18,779 --> 00:16:21,615 and I got to go get my EBT card, and ugh. 367 00:16:21,681 --> 00:16:23,984 - [chuckles] Adulting. 368 00:16:24,050 --> 00:16:27,988 [both chuckling] 369 00:16:28,054 --> 00:16:32,593 Uh, is that a suitcase full of scrambled eggs? 370 00:16:32,659 --> 00:16:35,062 - Yeah, yeah. [both chuckling] 371 00:16:35,162 --> 00:16:38,365 - It's, like, scrambled eggs is the most 372 00:16:38,465 --> 00:16:40,400 metal way to cook eggs. 373 00:16:40,401 --> 00:16:41,501 - Yeah, yeah. 374 00:16:41,502 --> 00:16:42,669 Yeah, somebody's like, 375 00:16:42,670 --> 00:16:45,272 "I'll have my eggs over easy, please." 376 00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:50,877 No, I don't give a goddamn about your over easy! 377 00:16:50,977 --> 00:16:56,116 Your eggs will be scrambled by the Lamb of God! 378 00:16:56,182 --> 00:16:59,720 - [chuckling] 379 00:17:00,521 --> 00:17:02,857 All these people stabbing each other, 380 00:17:02,923 --> 00:17:05,359 they all have white privilege. 381 00:17:05,426 --> 00:17:07,928 [both chuckling] 382 00:17:08,028 --> 00:17:10,297 - Yeah, who gets all the knives first? 383 00:17:10,397 --> 00:17:11,965 Surprise, surprise. 384 00:17:12,066 --> 00:17:13,434 The white people. 385 00:17:13,534 --> 00:17:15,802 [both chuckling] 386 00:17:15,869 --> 00:17:17,571 - White people. 387 00:17:17,637 --> 00:17:20,907 [both chuckling] 388 00:17:24,711 --> 00:17:26,880 - OK, gotta save Butt-Head. 389 00:17:26,980 --> 00:17:30,985 Gotta find someone who can help. 390 00:17:31,052 --> 00:17:33,820 Somebody to help Butt-Head. [chuckles] 391 00:17:33,887 --> 00:17:37,058 [dramatic music] 392 00:17:37,158 --> 00:17:40,260 I need a doctor right now! 393 00:17:40,327 --> 00:17:42,062 - Have you seen Dr. Jaspan before? 394 00:17:42,162 --> 00:17:43,297 - Yeah, yeah. 395 00:17:43,363 --> 00:17:45,966 Yeah, I was, like, eight years old, I think. 396 00:17:46,033 --> 00:17:48,635 - OK, have a seat and fill out these forms. 397 00:17:48,702 --> 00:17:50,404 - Oh. OK, yeah. 398 00:17:50,405 --> 00:17:51,471 Thanks. 399 00:17:51,472 --> 00:17:53,174 That's cool. [chuckles] 400 00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:54,975 Don't worry, Butt-Head. 401 00:17:55,042 --> 00:17:56,843 I'm going to write as fast as I can. 402 00:17:56,877 --> 00:17:58,245 [chuckles] 403 00:17:58,345 --> 00:18:02,716 ? ? 404 00:18:02,782 --> 00:18:04,852 - [groaning] - Oh, my God. 405 00:18:04,918 --> 00:18:06,720 Sir, are you OK? 406 00:18:06,787 --> 00:18:08,389 - [groans] 407 00:18:08,455 --> 00:18:09,923 - Is there anything I can do? 408 00:18:09,957 --> 00:18:13,493 - [wheezing] Yes. 409 00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:17,932 There is one thing you can do. 410 00:18:17,998 --> 00:18:20,000 - What? What is it? 411 00:18:22,770 --> 00:18:24,004 - Me. [chuckles] 412 00:18:24,071 --> 00:18:25,121 - Creep! 413 00:18:25,138 --> 00:18:27,074 - [sputters] 414 00:18:27,141 --> 00:18:29,977 [groans] 415 00:18:30,077 --> 00:18:31,312 - I don't get this book. 416 00:18:31,412 --> 00:18:34,281 What happened to the caterpillar? 417 00:18:34,314 --> 00:18:36,817 Who's this moth? 418 00:18:36,917 --> 00:18:38,985 See, this is why I never read. 419 00:18:39,052 --> 00:18:41,555 - Mr. Beavis, come with me. 420 00:18:41,621 --> 00:18:45,392 - Finally. Gonna save Butt-Head. 421 00:18:45,459 --> 00:18:47,294 - So how have you been feeling? 422 00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:49,095 - Well, pretty good, I guess. 423 00:18:49,096 --> 00:18:51,096 I've got this one toenail that's bothering me. 424 00:18:51,097 --> 00:18:52,147 - Mm-hmm. 425 00:18:52,148 --> 00:18:53,465 - And last week it was getting, like, 426 00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:56,203 all swollen and fat and gross. 427 00:18:56,270 --> 00:18:59,106 And-wait a second. 428 00:18:59,173 --> 00:19:01,141 Swollen, fat, and gross. 429 00:19:01,208 --> 00:19:04,111 I'm here because my roommate Butt-Head needs help. 430 00:19:04,112 --> 00:19:05,979 - What seems to be the matter with him? 431 00:19:05,980 --> 00:19:09,983 - Um, he's fat and he doesn't feel good. 432 00:19:10,017 --> 00:19:11,785 [chuckles] 433 00:19:11,851 --> 00:19:13,854 And he can't even spank his monkey. 434 00:19:13,954 --> 00:19:16,290 He tried so hard. 435 00:19:16,356 --> 00:19:17,624 It's really sad. 436 00:19:17,625 --> 00:19:19,359 - Well, if your friend's overweight, 437 00:19:19,360 --> 00:19:22,363 he might be at elevated risk for heart attack or stroke. 438 00:19:22,429 --> 00:19:24,798 - [chuckles] Stroke. 439 00:19:24,865 --> 00:19:27,368 [laughs] That's what he can't do. 440 00:19:27,434 --> 00:19:28,768 You know what I'm saying? 441 00:19:28,769 --> 00:19:30,336 - So he should make sure he eats right 442 00:19:30,337 --> 00:19:31,717 and gets plenty of exercise. 443 00:19:31,772 --> 00:19:34,775 - Yeah, got it. Yeah. 444 00:19:34,842 --> 00:19:37,845 Thank you, drive through. [chuckles] 445 00:19:37,945 --> 00:19:41,014 - [groaning] 446 00:19:50,957 --> 00:19:52,492 - Butt-Head, Butt-Head. 447 00:19:52,526 --> 00:19:54,662 - [groans] - I'm here to save you. 448 00:19:54,663 --> 00:19:56,596 The doctor said you have to eat right. 449 00:19:56,597 --> 00:19:59,065 Like, as many cheeseburgers as you can. 450 00:19:59,166 --> 00:20:01,502 [chuckles] - No. 451 00:20:01,503 --> 00:20:02,835 - Your life is at stake, Butt-Head. 452 00:20:02,836 --> 00:20:04,504 You've got to eat cheeseburgers. 453 00:20:04,505 --> 00:20:05,606 Come on. 454 00:20:05,673 --> 00:20:07,308 - [muffled groaning] 455 00:20:07,341 --> 00:20:09,777 - If you finish that, I'll give you some fries. 456 00:20:09,843 --> 00:20:12,846 I mean, I got them for me, but I guess that's OK. 457 00:20:12,913 --> 00:20:16,283 - [choking] 458 00:20:16,284 --> 00:20:18,384 - And then the doctor said you have to exercise. 459 00:20:18,385 --> 00:20:19,653 - What? - Come on. 460 00:20:19,654 --> 00:20:21,187 Right now, Butt-Head, get up. Come on. 461 00:20:21,188 --> 00:20:22,338 Jumping jacks. Come on. 462 00:20:22,356 --> 00:20:23,624 Come on. Dig deep. 463 00:20:23,625 --> 00:20:25,358 This is why you're having a heart attack right now, 464 00:20:25,359 --> 00:20:26,392 because you're lazy. 465 00:20:26,393 --> 00:20:27,895 Come on, get it. Yeah. 466 00:20:27,995 --> 00:20:30,864 Come on. - [groaning] 467 00:20:30,964 --> 00:20:32,533 Jacks. 468 00:20:32,633 --> 00:20:33,867 [coughs] 469 00:20:33,868 --> 00:20:35,301 - OK, Butt-Head, now finish strong 470 00:20:35,302 --> 00:20:36,469 with a jog around the block. 471 00:20:36,470 --> 00:20:37,520 Come on, let's go. 472 00:20:37,571 --> 00:20:40,974 - [groaning] 473 00:20:43,677 --> 00:20:46,046 Oh. Oh, no. 474 00:20:46,146 --> 00:20:47,248 - [sighs] 475 00:20:47,314 --> 00:20:49,883 I think he's going to be all right. 476 00:20:49,983 --> 00:20:51,184 That kid's a fighter. 477 00:20:51,217 --> 00:20:53,787 [sirens wailing] 478 00:20:53,788 --> 00:20:55,221 - A neighbor called about someone 479 00:20:55,222 --> 00:20:56,602 having a medical emergency. 480 00:20:56,656 --> 00:20:58,192 - Everything's OK, sir. 481 00:20:58,259 --> 00:21:00,661 All taken care of. [chuckles] 482 00:21:00,761 --> 00:21:03,330 - [groaning] 483 00:21:03,331 --> 00:21:05,264 - He didn't finish his cheeseburger. 484 00:21:05,265 --> 00:21:07,568 Well, more for me. 485 00:21:07,601 --> 00:21:09,102 Yep. [chuckles] 486 00:21:09,202 --> 00:21:12,339 Beavis, you earned it. [chuckles] 487 00:21:15,743 --> 00:21:17,911 - [groans] 488 00:21:23,417 --> 00:21:26,220 [bluesy rock music] 489 00:21:26,253 --> 00:21:33,326 ? ? 490 00:21:45,606 --> 00:21:47,507 [chiming noises] 491 00:21:47,574 --> 00:21:48,875 - Chirp. 492 00:21:48,925 --> 00:21:53,475 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0